“I don't see it distinctly different from just being a person. I don't think that it's necessarily a defining trait. It's just a natural part of existing.
I know that there's supposed to be some type of ‘the closet doors were opened and the hinges flew off and there was this trail of confetti and glitter that followed.’ Maybe I'm just too abnormal or normal, but I don't have one of those stories. I always knew I was who I was.
And the kids knew on day one that I was a gay man. Not because I wore a pride flag to school, but just because there's a certain, I think, personality, a certain expressiveness, a certain type of just freedom to be who you are that I think a lot of straight people do not embody. And it comes across differently—whether it's in the tone of voice, a quip, some type of sarcastic comment, whether it's in a look or a glance or whatever—the kids can piece that together.
I had a student last year—we were having class the first or second day of 2019—and there was a girl who's exceptionally vocal and very much rights-minded and doesn’t like discrimination.
When we were going over classroom procedures, syllabus, whatever, some of the boys behind her to her left were sort of tittering and laughing and pointing and, you know, conjecturing under their breath. And she could hear them, of course.
And she just rips it out and goes, ‘Are you gay?’ And just announces to the entire class as, like, a classroom discussion on day one. She just wants to make the query and embarrass them, because I think she knew I didn't care, and I didn't. I said, ‘Yes. Does it matter? Now let's move on to the back page of the syllabus,’ and we moved on and it wasn't an issue. But it almost emboldened her and it embarrassed them by putting me on the spot about something that really didn't matter. And it sort of set that tone for that entire year.
I know that there was at least, I'm sure, like one or two kids in that class that were also gay who were like, ‘Oh, okay, it's not a big deal.’ And I think that, in and of itself, might've been more helpful for them than the two seconds of potential embarrassment they thought it was going to cause me.”